Oh boy. This one’s going to raise some eyebrows.
Hear me out.
There are three very important things that should be taken into account here:
- This film is bad. It is bad and it should feel bad. Everything about it is bad. So very bad.
- I love how bad it is.
- Enjoying something ironically is still enjoying the thing.
So, yes. This is my street-cred-ruining confession. I love the first Twilight movie for how truly awful it is.
It was highly anticipated by hordes of ravenous fans, and the mass-marketing machinery was churning out more and more ludicrous merchandise by the second, but when it came out no one was really expecting it to be even worse than the books it was based on. Somehow, they found a way.
Just look at the trailer up there. Look how seriously it takes itself. Everything about the film is so cheesy, but they try and play it straight and it just doesn’t work. The best worst moments are relatively early in the film – Edward first notices Bella because of her scent, so the film has her standing in front of a fan literally blowing the scent to him. Subtle. And the big reveal of what happens when a vampire steps into the light … the bedazzling … so stupid … it burns … “THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER” … oh my God …
The colours in the film are all washed out and everything just feels really listless as a result. It doesn’t help that the acting is some of the blandest on offer (with the exception of the occasional bit of overplayed nonsense) from actors who are now desperately trying to prove that they can do better (Kirsten Stewart in particular has been vilified, but she’s actually a much better actress than the film allows her to be). And the less said about the abusive controlling relationship the better.
And yet … there’s something endearing about it. With its many, many flaws, it can still provide a couple of hours of solid entertainment, even if it’s for all the wrong reasons. So I’m going to admit it – Twilight is a guilty pleasure of mine, because I loved watching it even though it was bad, nay, because it was so bad.
And because, you see, I was very, very drunk.